Half way point

Tomorrow (12/22/10) marks the half way point of my pregnancy. I will be exactly 20 weeks along. For anyone that has been pregnant recently you know that it also means you get your second, and a really important ultrasound (US). It is where you get to make sure everything is developing like it should be and the baby has all the parts you are expecting it to have at this point. I was supposed to have this US done last Thursday but as I was brushing my teeth before grabbing Donovan and walking out the door, the doctor's office called to say that my doctor had to do a delivery and would have to reschedule. The next day she was available was the 30th, which I have to work, and then the 3rd of Jan, which I also work. So the alternative was to send me to the Perinatal center today at the hospital I work at and have them do my US. This is all they do there so I felt confident that I would get someone that would be more than capable of telling what was going on with the baby.

The US went lovely. It took about 3 times as long as I remember the 20 week US with Donovan taking (which also could have been because I had a 20 month old sitting on the table with me, trying his best to get in the gel and in the way in general) but I was loving every minute. I haven't really talked much about this pregnancy on here because this pregnancy is so different. For some reason, maybe because the pregnancy came a little earlier than we had planned, I have a hard time believing this is really all happening. I think part of it is I am so busy with Donovan that I don't have time to obsess over the pregnancy, like you tend to do with the first one. Also I feel like talking about it might jinx our good fortune. I know how blessed I am to have one healthy and happy child and I feel like there is no way I can hit that lottery again. It is probably just my profession that has me feeling this, but I have also had several people I know have bad things happen to their pregnancies or young children so I think I am also just afraid to open myself up and fall as hopelessly in love with this baby like I did for Donovan. I am just terrified, and waiting for some bad news, or something bad to happen. It feels all to good to be true.

Well today at the US I feel like I finally am starting to believe it and I have finally opened myself up to the fact that we are parents of two now. Not when I deliver, but now. There is a baby in me that I love hopelessly already. At Donovan's 20 week US we didn't really get all that many good views of the baby or pictures really at all. It was all about anatomy and checking everything. God blessed us this time with an ultrasonographer who is also a nurse who I sort of know. She is the writer of the Hawn blog I follow and link to my blog. She has lived enough in this life for 10 people and is wonderfully compassionate. I mentioned I was worried about the baby's heart being ok, and she spent tons of time looking it over for me. She also must have somehow known I needed to see some cute views of the baby to help everything sink in, because she gave us some really great ones. She was also so enthusiastic about little things, like the baby's cute feet or pike position of it's legs at one point, and it was just what I needed. After she pointed out the baby stretching out it's legs perfectly straight, I just started crying, and basically didn't stop until the US was over a few minutes later. It just finally felt real, like I could let go of all the worry (ok well some of it at least, let's not get all crazy) and just be happy for us and our family. Donovan is going to be a big brother and Tom and I are going to have another son or daughter! It is wonderful and such a miracle. When I saw the baby's profile, I could see Donovan in it and I think that was what really got me. We love Donovan so much, and his personality is so fun, what is this baby going to be like? I am so excited to find out.

We did mention to the nurse that we definitely did not want to see the sex of the baby so she had us turn away several different times. Once I was sure I saw a boy part, and I even said "Can I see the boy or girl parts now?" and she pointed right to what I was referring to and said it was the insertion of the umbilical cord. So this time I have no idea, not even a peak, of what we are having. Having said that though, after seeing the profile of the face I can only picture this being a boy since I think it looks so much like Donovan. I don't care what it is, I just want it to be healthy. I has been fun to speculate though. This pregnancy has been soooooo incredibly different from my first. With the first I had cramping and breast pain (sorry men who read this who are not my husband) right away, I had to go pee all the time, I lost 13lbs I was so sick, and I had the acne of a 14 year old boy in the midst of puberty. This time I was sick, but not nearly as bad (only lost a few pounds) and have had none of the other symptoms. So if you went from that, this is a girl. But lots of people I know have had same sex children and totally different pregnancies. So it could just be a trickster boy.

Anyways, I have digressed a million times but I needed to get that off my chest. Bottom line though, was that everything looked wonderful and our baby looks very healthy. Thank you God. Now we pray it stays that way and that I stay pregnant at least 17 more weeks, but less than 21 :)

Oh and I will try to put some pictures up from the US at a later date. They all have my last name on them and I try to keep that off the blog so I might have to talk the hubby into cropping some so I can post them. For now you will have to take my word, they are great!