Let me begin this post by saying everyone is ok, especially Donovan who was the unfortunate recipient of a bad mommy decision. July 2nd I was at home, and decided to run a few errands with Donovan. I strapped him tightly (which is key) to his car seat, gathered all the stuff I needed to bring with us and out the garage door we went to my car. Well I had too much stuff in my hands, including Donovan in the car seat, so I could not shut the door to the house. Since it was hot I did not want to put Donovan in the car but I needed to set him down so I could grab the door. I don't know why I thought this was a good idea but I thought, "I'll just set him on the hood of my car and then shut the door quickly and we'll go." So I set him on the hood, waited a second to make sure he did not slide down (and he did not), and turned around to shut the door. Not one second later as I was turning back from shutting the door I heard the worst sound in my life of the car seat hitting the ground. Then I saw Donovan's car seat upside-down on the ground. It was the most terrifying and sickening thing I have ever seen, a sight that I cannot get out of my head to this day and probably will never forget. I immediately flipped him over, terrified of what I was going to find. He looked perfectly fine and was just looking at me like "Hey, what'd you do?" He wasn't crying but I was sure he was really hurt so I began feeling all over his head and face, trying to find if I could feel anything broken. Of course this was all with shaky hands and through eyes full of tears but I could not find anything that looked abnormal. At this point he started fussing, which I think was due to me poking and prodding him and the fact that he was sleeping before I put him in the car seat so he was still tired but I was terrified it meant something was hurt. So I called the Dr's office to see what I should do and of course they were closed for lunch for 20 more minutes. Well I decided that nothing was so wrong that we needed to go to the ER right away so we would wait the 20 min until the office was open again. In the meantime I continued to cry uncontrollably and Donovan settled in for a nap. So as soon as the office was open I called and left a message for the nurse line, telling them what happened. At this point Donovan woke up and was smiling at cooing at me like nothing happened at all. About 5 min later the nurse from the Dr's office called me back and after I explained what happened to her and told her how I thought he had a red mark above his left eyebrow she told me I should take him to the ER to get him checked out just to be safe. The nurse was so sweet and reassuring, even telling me that her son had fallen off the bed when he was with her husband but at that point nothing made me feel better. I think she was more concerned for me since I was crying so hard, she said "Are you going to be ok to take him to the hospital?" So after assuring her I would be fine I hung up and threw everything together and got me and Donovan in the car. I called Tom, told him what had happened and asked him to meet me at the ER for some moral support which he of course agreed to do.
I was really impressed with the ER, they walked us back to a room as soon as we got there and the nurse was with us in the first 5 minutes. Overall we were there for 2 1/2 hours and Donovan showed no signs of being hurt the entire time we were there, in fact he was better behaved there then he usually is at home. After examining him, taking his vitals, and watching to see how he tolerated eating we were given a clean bill of health from the Nurse practitioner and allowed to go home. The NP decided he didn't need to take any X-rays or anything as he had no bumps or bruises and sent us home with some signs to look for in case he had a head injury that we just couldn't see. I felt good about going home because he was acting normally so I pretty much knew he was going to be fine.
He has been fine ever since so it turned out that this was just more of an emotional injury for mom than anything else. Thank God he is ok. We are so lucky that nothing bad happened to him because I know just how easily it could have gone the other way. After thinking about the fall and looking at the car seat, we think it slid off and fell on its side before rolling over upside down. That and the fact that he was so tightly fastened into the seat is probably what saved him from serious injury. It is 3 days after the fall now and I still feel sick just thinking about it. Every time I pray at night I start crying again because I feel like I got a second chance with Donovan. I think God was just like "Ellen, you are getting too lax with things, you need to be a little more careful." I am taking that lesson to heart. One trip to the ER is one too many. From now on Tom and I will be placing Donovan in the car seat when it is planted firmly on the ground. This was a life lesson that I had to learn the hard way, even though it could have been a lot worse. We are so blessed to have a happy and healthy baby. Thank God.
Please forgive yourself for this momentary lapse in judgement! Things like this happen to every parent at one time or another. It's just that most parents are reluctant to admit their mistake like you just did. I know how sick you must feel, but it looks like Donovan is just fine, no permanent damage done. I'm not sure if Chuck knows even now, 19 years later, that Zach fell off the couch when he was a little one like Donovan. I was afraid Chuck would kill me if he knew then, so I don't think I ever told him. Obviously, Zach is just fine and suffered no long term problems because of it. Then again....he does have this little twitch thingy he does...........just kidding!!! Ellen, you're a wonderful, attentive mother. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT!
ReplyDeletegood work holding yourself together! it's not easy. palmer smacked his head against a door at mcdonalds a couple of weeks ago resulting in a big knot on his head. still makes me lightheaded to think about it. glad to hear tommy was able to join you. that spousal moral support is priceless!
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